Yummy petite dessert ~

We were at St Ives today and bought this yummy petite dessert platter.. lemon tarts, honey - caramel and chocolate profiteroles, fruit tarts and mini chocolates. =)

Asthma. Exercising. Competition

I'm not the type of person who needs peoples approval for things that my health allows and don't allow me to do. I don't need people to say, it's not my fault I can't do certain sports and it's ok.
Asthma has been part of my life and it's never been something that has bothered me. I've grown to accept it when I was a little kid, and aware of what sports I need to stay away from, which sports will trigger a shortness of breath, which sports I can do, but slower.

I don't compare myself to others in sports and I really don't care less if people are better than me. To me, sport is a leisure activity I enjoy doing with my friends who also enjoy the sport. It's not something competitive and it's definitely not showing off to see who's better. Of course, the more often you do it, the better you get at it, but it's not a competition. We don't count scores. We don't race each other. Someone has previously said to my friends and I " You guys play badmington like you're catching butterflies!!" - and this is something I enjoy. Having a good laugh, chat and play.

I don't like competing with people. I don't need to compete with my friends. I'm not a competitive person. I don't need to be the best and i've never had the "want" to be the best.

I've never gotten upset nor depressed with having Asthma. I don't need peoples empathy. I certainly don't need people to acknowledge that they accept it because I really don't care what other people think. There's no big deal. My friends who know have just accepted it. E.g. they know that there are certain air fragrances in their car that are very strong so before they come to pick me up, they take it out and open all the windows. They don't mention anything, and they don't need to, but I know and I appreciate it.

Some things don't need to be said. Actions are more valuable than words.

Happy. Loved.

I realise that very often, I write when I want to express anger, sad feelings and emotion. Very often, I forget to write about the happy times. The times when I'm feeling up in the air. The times I feel content. The times I feel loved. Like now.

Right now, I'm feeling happy. Happy because i'm feeling very satisfied with what I have. Happy with the people who are surrounding me. Happy with the flexibility of my job and learning something new everyday. Happy x "2" being able to spend quality time with RL and having a personal mandarin teacher who won't laugh when my tones are not correct and will encourage me to try again and again and again. =)

No longer addicted to...

No more reaction when I see these... =)

My work desk

After 3 weeks, I finally managed to get my docking station at work set up - with my 22" screen too!! If only I can take it home to use .. heheee

Fantastic service

When I was in HK, I had doubts about buying a Dell. I had doubts buying a computer online, especially since I was going to be bringing it back to Sydney. What if this or that didn't work? What if there were problems? I had so many "what if .." questions.

In the last 2-3 months, there has been some "cooking", "boiling" noise coming out from my laptop. I rang the technical services helpdesk line and they did some checks for me while I was on the phone to test my laptop. After the test, there was still noise. I rang the helpdesk again and they organised to send someone out to my workplace to fix it up.

The Dell technician called in their specified timeframe, 24-48 hrs. He was not only on time, he called in advance and confirmed time. He was very well mannered and very friendly. He was very efficient. He rang in the morning again to say he would be at my office between 9.30am - 10.30am and he got here 9.30am on the dot.

None of this waiting past 10.30am business - which reminds me of the time my lounge delivery in Hong Kong.

I was told my lounge delivery time was going to be 7pm-10pm - I waited and waited, no call. By the time it was 10.30pm, I realised that these people weren't going to come. I was going to ring the shop but then they were closed. At 12 midnight, the guy calls and said he's on his way and he'll be at my place at 12.30am. He asked "Is that ok?" and I just said " err.. can it be not ok?"
I figured that even if it was re-scheduled, chances of me waiting till midnight again was highly possible so I just told them to come. I was pretty annoyed but I guess that's how things are in Hong Kong. I did get my lounge eventually. =)

Anyways, back to Dell. I am very very impressed with Dell's service and now my laptops fixed. So happy! =)

I'm thinking of you

It's one of the couple times in the year when I will just sit down and feel emotionally sad. I hear people say that "time will heal" and I thought that this year that it would be better than the last.
I remember thinking, this time last year, the same thing.

Certain things happened in the last couple of month. I felt that certain barriers could of been knocked down. I felt that the thick brick wall would of disappeared. I thought that I would be able to write this year and say that I knocked it down. I don't feel that I can yet.

I'm glad with certain situations in the last month, K stopped me. I offered happily but was refused. I felt abit upset at the time, but now I know why. It seems K knows me better than myself. =)

I remember previous years, there was build ups of sadness and depression. From 2 weeks before, to 1.5 weeks before, to 1 week before. Time gradually decreases... to now.. 1 day before. The pain and memories are still there.

At times like this, I want to be by myself. I don't want to paste a smile on my face and pretend it's just a normal day. It makes me feel awful afterwards. I feel fake. I don't feel i'm myself.

I wish one day the pain will go and the memories stay in my heart.

Our 1 month

Today is our one month anniversary today. My super sweet RL bought me this bunch of very beautiful and pretty flowers. It was sitting on my desk and even with a slightly blocked nose, I can still smell the whiff of fresh tulips.

I feel very very happy today. Happy to have met RL. Happy to have spent so many happy days together. Happy to have such a caring boyfriend =)

Regretting...

I wish I didn't come back to Sydney.
I wish I was back in HK.
I'm tempted.

Roy's birthday weekend

It was Roy's birthday on Friday night and we went to a vegetarian restaurant in Newtown. It was the second time to that restaurant for me, and this time, we could order more dishes since there was about 14 people. After dinner, we went K at Greenbox Plus. I feel like an "old biscuit" because I haven't been to half the new K's that have opened. My excuse - I was in HK last year, how do I know? hehe =)

On Saturday night - we went to Lucio's in Paddington and had their degustation menu. Click HERE to view the menu. The atmosphere was very nice, lots of paintings on the walls. The food was fantastic. I think it's the best degustation meals I've had so far =) ** Thanks to Mike who highly recommended it **

Sunday, went to a vegetarian yumcha with Roy's family near St Mary's Cathedral. I was there a ^*little* early so I went into St Mary's Cathedral. It's been a while since I've been in there, and when I went in, I felt like I was in somewhere warm and safe. No words can describe how calm and peaceful I felt. I sat there and looked at the alter. I knelt down and said some prayers. I looked on the left hand side and there were candles. I went over to light a candle, closed my eyes to say another prayer, and flashbacks of when my brother and I were young came across my mind. I nearly laughed out loud, but trust me, I had a huge smile on my face.

Reason? I remember we were at St Joan of Arc Church in Haberfield. It was a Sunday Mass. My brother, being around 4 or 5 years old at the time - while it was communion time, ran to the candles, sang Happy Birthday very loudly and tried to blow the candles on tippy toes. Everyone looked over and my dad had to go and pick him up and bring him to his seat. This a memory I cannot forget =)

After I sat at St Mary's Cathedral for a while, I went outside and walked around the gardens. I saw some flowers that reminded me of someone very special. One that would make me smile just looking at it. Someones favourite. They were so pretty, I had to capture it =)

Arn't they prettttttty ??? =)

Clock to tick

I'm sitting here in the office, waiting for 5.15pm so I can shutdown & leave the office. I've finally finished my 6 week training in the City. I have to say, the 6 week training was very unorganised and somewhat boring. The only good thing about being in the city is that ;

1. I don't need to drive
2. I get to have lunch with my friends that work in the city too =)

Now i'm back in the suburbs, I'll have to look for nice places to have lunch.

I've already booked client appointments for next week and I'm very happy with my "flexible" hours. A 11.30 am appointment in Blacktown, means I can wake up at 9.30am... or even 10am on Monday morning. How good is that ??

So far, I like everything about my new job but having to drive.

I'm not looking forward to having drive alot, but i'm sure going to be learning alot more new roads and suburbs. On Tuesday, I went with a collegue to Winmalee, 20 minutes away from Penrith, Wednesday I went to Windsor. It was the first time I went to both those suburbs. I'm sure going to be going out of my comfort zone with driving to places I don't know, especially on my own.

I wish I never told them I had a car, then instead of driving, I could just get cab charges to go everywhere I need to hehehe =)

mmhh..... or maybe I can get a driver =) ** i think i'm dreaming here !! **

Buddhist Seminar 佛

My aunty hosted a Buddhist Seminar at her house this weekend. Being a good niece & daughter, I had promised that I would attend, even though I do not follow the Buddhism religion. The good thing was: the main speaker spoke in mandarin & there was a cantonese translater.

The first couple of morning sessions were pretty interesting. I learnt values of life. The sacrafices and the love our parents give to us. How much pain our mothers suffered while they were carrying us. How to be a better person. How to appreciate those around you. Not to be greedy. The value of a brand new $20 note is the same as a old and tacky $20 note.. but why do some people want a brand new one?

The afternoon sessions got abit "deep" so I stayed out.

After lunch, we experienced something very amazing. Something I have never seen before. It must sound weird when you read this, but trust me, it feels weird typing it too. We experienced a spirit going into a lady's body and coming in talking to us. The spirit was the 佛. ( thanks to pt. for msning me the chinese word!! hehe )

We also saw the lady collapse after the 佛 left her body - while her spirit was placed back. Sounds silly ey? But it's true.

I don't know why, but when I saw the lady, my heart pounded hard and fast. So fast that it nearly popped out. It was like that for 2 hours. I felt very uncomfortable. I felt that I shouldn't of been there. It wasn't the right place for me.

I spoke to one of the preachers there who follows Buddhism after and both Mike and I threw questions at him and he explained how the 佛 went into the lady's body.

He gave me an overview on his beliefs and he told me that the lady has followed the 佛 to heaven and hell. Apparently there are 11 levels in heaven and depending on how good of a person you are, you're ranked. The highest level - 11, is the most luxurious. But funny enough, when he gave me an example, he said level 11 in heaven gives you the peace of being with God. I was shocked when he said that.

He then told me hell was extremely scary. Even before you reach there, the sounds and the noise is already very scary.

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Arrgh.. this is so weird. I'm trying to write down and share my experiences but I'm having alot of difficulty and I don't feel I am making any sense and something just doesn't sound very right.. i think i'll just stop and leave it as is.

Pretty Pink

From someone very special =)

I am going to learn MANDARIN

I am going to learn Mandarin =)

I started today with my fabulous mentor, RL teaching me the pinyin of consonants from Chinese Made Super Easy from Dymocks! hehe

From my heart

After having a sleepness night, I woke up of feeling sadness. I've learnt through my past experiences the value of life. The need to keep yourself happy. The need to value what you have. Not to be greedy to ask for more, not meaning that you can't challenge yourself in life. I feel pain when I hear about illnesses in my family, my friends and people I know.

I wish from the bottom of my heart that D recovers very very soon. I can feel the sadness and the pain that my dear friend is suffering. Knowing that my dear friends husband is suffering from a life threatening illness Pulmonary Embolism, and after doing my own reading and research on it on my own this morning, my heart cringes with pain.

I pray that D will recover soon. I pray that everything will be ok for you going forward. I pray that the treatment will be successful and that the blockage will not come back again. I pray that you 3 will be a happy family again soon.

Fine Botanical Art

On Sunday, we went to the Botanic Gardens to see an exhibition of fine botanic art. The artwork was amazing. Artists have so much talent. When you look from a distance, you admire the artwork from afar, and when you walk up close, you admire each pencil stroke, each shade, each colour.

Each illustration was informative, showing very detailed features of each flower and fruit drawn. I can imagine the amount of time and effort that is needed to draw each one of these beautiful pictures to perfection.

One of my favourite was a corn that looked like it sparkles, cherries from a fruit basket, a small pineapple on a stem (so imagine a pineapple the size of my hand on a stem) and many many flowers, including a purple tulip that RL liked =) I liked them all.

One talent that really facinated me was a white flower on white paper. The shading and the fine penciling made the white flower really stand out and look stunning.

Very very very impressive =)

It's happened again

I received a phone call this morning and found out that my aunty is diagnosed with breast cancer. I know that chances of getting cancer is alot higher nowadays and that one in four women are diagnosed with breast cancer - it's more common.

I can't help feeling a knot of pain in my heart, hearing news like this. The pain was so painful that I can't even explain how sad I suddenly felt. I cannot say that I know how my aunty feels, but I can say, i'm pretty close. I can feel the sadness of my cousins, I can feel the sadness of friends and family that would know.

Even though my aunty is in it's very early stages - an operation needs to be performed (scheduled for end of this month) and Chemo. Hearing the word "Chemo" makes me shiver. Weight loss, vomiting, loss of hair... the list goes on. But who's to guarantee the cancer won't come back years later? Who's to say that once doctors have seen the cancer with their naked eye, it wouldn't of spread elsewhere?

This morning, I was lost for words. There's only so much I can say. Stay strong and we're thinking of you. But I know, in reality, they are just words and to them, it doesn't mean much. I can only offer them to call us if they need anything, and know that we'll be thinking of them. I will be praying that she is looked after and all goes well.

I tried to say " I hope she get's better soon" but for some reason, those words couldn't come out of my mouth. I don't know why. Deep inside, I know that some people just "cannot get better soon" and hearing it, just makes the conversation more silent, more awkward.

I hope that after the operation, all the bad things are gone and she can be happy again. Hope from the bottom of my heart that they won't come back and attack her again.

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Super Doopa

I was sitting on the bus into work today and I was smiling to myself. I nearly giggled out. It's been a while since I have been doing something random and thinking of things that have happened that make me happy & smile =) It's such a great feeling!!

I'm feeling very happy today today. Double super happy perhaps from my "not usual" double shot coffee this morning.

Now I have to get back to work and keep reading life insurance PDS's. =)

Hi Tea at Swiss Hotel