Reflections

Christmas, New Years and upcoming birthdays are happy and joyful things to celebrate. Plenty of smiles and lots of laughter. Lots of hugs and kisses from my closest friends. This is the time I feel fake. Lots of smiling, laughter, cheer and jokes covering the bottom of my heart which is twisted with pain and cry. Every now and again, the brick on my heart will drop. But when i'm back in my own all four walls, I feel the heaviness again. Everytime, this time of the year approaches, sleepless nights prop up again. Thoughts and clear pictures run around my head of an event that happened 4 yrs ago. One event that i will never forget. I remember the first year, I said to my best friend " I can't believe one year has already gone by, it just felt like yesterday..." Year by year, I say the same thing. And without fail, i'm saying the same thing this year. Images are 110% clear. Relatives and friends that came and left I cannot forget. The weather, temperature, the breakfasts, the dinners, the smell, the atmosphere, the words being said and the feeling I cannot forget. The feeling of sadness in my heart will always be there, but this is the time that the images are most clear, that i am the most emotional. I hope to never forget, I hope my memory does not fade. But I also hope that one year, this time, i can honestly and openly say that I am happy and truely happy. I don't know when and how long this is going to be, i don't wish it happen straight away, but maybe, just maybe one day...

a stressful morning

I just don't understand why some people just like leaving things till the very last minute. I must admit, i'm not a very organised person myself, but I try to have myself organised as much as I can.

Knowing that your flight departed at Sydney International Airport to go to HK at 3pm, knowing travelling time was at least 1 hr from your house to the airport & your flight could be full, would you:

1. Organise cleaners to come to your house at 9am in the morning?
2. Go and get money out of the bank?
3. Pack 10kgs abalone into freeze proof boxes.
4. Go and pick up your new glasses - which you could of picked up when you got back because you were only going to be away for 10 days and not to mention, you had a pair that was perfectly alright to use.
5. Organise me to go for an eye test - which somehow couldn't of been done any other day ?
6. Go to the fruit shop and buy white peaches as a gift - not to mention, whether the gift was going to white peaches or honey coated nuts was still not decided..AND if organise for the white peaches to fit in a box & strap the box so it can be carried easily.
7. Go into Woolies to get oats - which you knew you had to get a month ago..
And not to mention.... you had a day off on Monday - where you could of done all these things ! I perfectly understand that some of those points above could only be done in the morning, but clearly, alot of those points could have been done at another time, if not earlier.

As you can see, I had a pretty stressful morning. I met up with my 2 beautiful girlfriends for a nice "Espresso & Milk Chocolate Frappe" only bcos they both happened to be sick at around Midday heheee =) Then looking at those fresh ripe red strawberrys & milk chocolate on the table made me forget everything that happened in the morning * not to mention B got me a bunch of beautiful sweet smelling pink roses!

Thanks B for the roses =) They're beautiful, just like you!

missing you

I bumped into some friends I haven't seen in quite some time on the weekend. It brought back memories of the times we used to spend together. The gatherings that we had, the dinners we use to have and those nights we use to just hang out and watch dvds. We kinda lost the contact and the friendship due to some little misunderstandings.
It's a shame, but what can be done?