It's one of the couple times in the year when I will just sit down and feel emotionally sad. I hear people say that "time will heal" and I thought that this year that it would be better than the last.
I remember thinking, this time last year, the same thing.
Certain things happened in the last couple of month. I felt that certain barriers could of been knocked down. I felt that the thick brick wall would of disappeared. I thought that I would be able to write this year and say that I knocked it down. I don't feel that I can yet.
I'm glad with certain situations in the last month, K stopped me. I offered happily but was refused. I felt abit upset at the time, but now I know why. It seems K knows me better than myself. =)
I remember previous years, there was build ups of sadness and depression. From 2 weeks before, to 1.5 weeks before, to 1 week before. Time gradually decreases... to now.. 1 day before. The pain and memories are still there.
At times like this, I want to be by myself. I don't want to paste a smile on my face and pretend it's just a normal day. It makes me feel awful afterwards. I feel fake. I don't feel i'm myself.
I wish one day the pain will go and the memories stay in my heart.
Revolves around a sparkling world of small to big things that happen and love sharing the way I think with the people who are in my life. I believe laughter and eating yummy desserts is the best tool for stress relief.
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