Reflections

Christmas, New Years and upcoming birthdays are happy and joyful things to celebrate. Plenty of smiles and lots of laughter. Lots of hugs and kisses from my closest friends. This is the time I feel fake. Lots of smiling, laughter, cheer and jokes covering the bottom of my heart which is twisted with pain and cry. Every now and again, the brick on my heart will drop. But when i'm back in my own all four walls, I feel the heaviness again. Everytime, this time of the year approaches, sleepless nights prop up again. Thoughts and clear pictures run around my head of an event that happened 4 yrs ago. One event that i will never forget. I remember the first year, I said to my best friend " I can't believe one year has already gone by, it just felt like yesterday..." Year by year, I say the same thing. And without fail, i'm saying the same thing this year. Images are 110% clear. Relatives and friends that came and left I cannot forget. The weather, temperature, the breakfasts, the dinners, the smell, the atmosphere, the words being said and the feeling I cannot forget. The feeling of sadness in my heart will always be there, but this is the time that the images are most clear, that i am the most emotional. I hope to never forget, I hope my memory does not fade. But I also hope that one year, this time, i can honestly and openly say that I am happy and truely happy. I don't know when and how long this is going to be, i don't wish it happen straight away, but maybe, just maybe one day...

a stressful morning

I just don't understand why some people just like leaving things till the very last minute. I must admit, i'm not a very organised person myself, but I try to have myself organised as much as I can.

Knowing that your flight departed at Sydney International Airport to go to HK at 3pm, knowing travelling time was at least 1 hr from your house to the airport & your flight could be full, would you:

1. Organise cleaners to come to your house at 9am in the morning?
2. Go and get money out of the bank?
3. Pack 10kgs abalone into freeze proof boxes.
4. Go and pick up your new glasses - which you could of picked up when you got back because you were only going to be away for 10 days and not to mention, you had a pair that was perfectly alright to use.
5. Organise me to go for an eye test - which somehow couldn't of been done any other day ?
6. Go to the fruit shop and buy white peaches as a gift - not to mention, whether the gift was going to white peaches or honey coated nuts was still not decided..AND if organise for the white peaches to fit in a box & strap the box so it can be carried easily.
7. Go into Woolies to get oats - which you knew you had to get a month ago..
And not to mention.... you had a day off on Monday - where you could of done all these things ! I perfectly understand that some of those points above could only be done in the morning, but clearly, alot of those points could have been done at another time, if not earlier.

As you can see, I had a pretty stressful morning. I met up with my 2 beautiful girlfriends for a nice "Espresso & Milk Chocolate Frappe" only bcos they both happened to be sick at around Midday heheee =) Then looking at those fresh ripe red strawberrys & milk chocolate on the table made me forget everything that happened in the morning * not to mention B got me a bunch of beautiful sweet smelling pink roses!

Thanks B for the roses =) They're beautiful, just like you!

missing you

I bumped into some friends I haven't seen in quite some time on the weekend. It brought back memories of the times we used to spend together. The gatherings that we had, the dinners we use to have and those nights we use to just hang out and watch dvds. We kinda lost the contact and the friendship due to some little misunderstandings.
It's a shame, but what can be done?

some happy snaps

Baby Sarah with Tams & Jac

BBQ at Dida's place

bored....

Here i am, sitting in the office - megarly bored.. reading blogs, surfing the net, writing emails, checking out friendster, looking at old pics ... doing everything BUT what I should be doing. Twiddling my thumbs and realising that theres only about 5 more weeks till the end of the year.

Then I think back and wonder what has happened this year.

1. I've met alot of new great friends and formed great friendship.
2. I've finished my DFP.
3. I've enrolled in my CFP.
4. Taken up 2 new sports this year and loving it !! ( indoor rock climbing & badminton )
5. Improved my families relationship.
6. Have had my patience, understanding level and analysing skills tested.
7. Realised that I still have a barrier (or a wall) that i haven't been able to cross yet. I think with time, i'll be able to cross it.....

ooh... and how can i forget, my new car !! hehehee


mmh... Just 7? There must be more... but I cant think of it from the top of my head right now. Had a really late night last night catching up with my high school friends, as two dear friends J & J had come back from overseas. J1 to visit and J2 - i thought was coming back permanently but only to find out last night that he was going to work in HK in March next yr.

Funny enough, I was only talking to another friend C on the weekend discussing the possibilities of relocating to HK next year. mmh.. just a thought... =)

the red carpet

I went to Borats movie premiere last night with D in the George St Cinemas. For the first time in my life, walked down the red carpet entrance into the cinemas! There was loads of people on both sides of the red carpet, and about 6 cameras facing us - but of cos, not taking pictures of us! hahhaa =)

I was pretty nervous simply because there was soooo many people looking at us! But, we both gave huge smiles, lifted our heads up and walked right down to the end !
Definitely a great experience and a fantastic night ! Thanks D!

Borat is an excellent movie. Laughs right from the beginning to the end. Definitely worth watching !!!

Neverending concerns

What do you do when one and two doesn't listen ?

How do you let down your fustrations when you don't agree on what they are doing? You've expressed your concern, but they still think they are right. What if its affecting their health and lifestyle? What if it can harm them?

You really really want to help, but you can't.

The funny thing is, one agrees with me and doesnt agree on what two is doing. Two agrees with me and doesnt agree on what one is doing.

But they both don't look at themselves to see if they have made the right decisions on what THEY should be doing and they both don't discuss with each other what they are doing. So how is the middle person, me, suppose to help?

i tried

The first time i've donated blood. Sitting in the Red Cross building in Chatswood - it suprised me. I was imagining a unclean place but it was new and spotless. Gave me a very good first impression. Ive always had doubts about donating blood..heard so many bad/unpleasant stories but i took up the courage & went today.

We booked in for 2.30pm with 2 of my other collegues, we sat and waiting for 40 mins. They went through a questionnaire, asking ALOT of questions about health, holidays etc. Then they did a haemoglobin test. I was low. But the nurse said, maybe its just today, so we still decided to go ahead with taking the blood.

They sat me on a nice comfy chair that swang backwards, moved up, leg rest. Mega comfy. Cleaned the area ... and stuck the needle in my arm!! Painful - yes.. it hurt and stung a bit. I needed to donate 470ml's of blood - but it stopped at 178ml's.
As instructed, i was pumping the rubber ball every 5-10 seconds. The machine beeeped and it just stopped. My blood stopped flowing out !

The kind & friendly nurses came.. looked and played with the machine, and said thats all they can take out today. They removed the needle, wrapped my arm up..gave me a BIG yummy choc milkshake and a bagful of goodies with a YUMMY mars bar! hehee =)


I tried.....
anyone else that wants to try.. go to www.donateblood.com.au
its all for a good cause !!!

Dine Out

Nothing is better than having a nice quite dinner at a nice yummy restaurant with one of your best girlfriends! Starting off with yummy mussels from the Belgium Beer Cafe and topping it off with a belgium waffle with vanilla bean ice cream and strawberries =) YUM!

Having nice D & M talks ranging from work, studies, relationships to family and friends and lots of laughter ~
B - u know what i'm referring to ! hehee =)

It proves again that time flies when your having a great time. We didn't even realise we'd been talking for 3 hrs !! If it wasn't for the parking meter, I don't think we would of stopped talking! Thanks for a fantastic night! We should do it more often !!

The Boy from Oz

A totally fantastic musical !!!! I went last night to watch They Boy from Oz presented by Hugh Jackman with my workmates last night. We got A Reserve seats on the right hand side of the stage. Excellent seats. Its the first time I have been to one of these musicals, held at the entertainment centre.

The show went for 3 hrs~ beautiful lighting and lots of beautiful dancing and really really pretty costumes!!! Its amazing how Hugh Jackmans voice and songs can make you soooo happy and smiling from one song to being sad and wanting to cry on the next. It was sensational.
Highly highly recommended !

What I learnt from my girlfriends

· Good times are even better when they're shared.
· A good long talk can cure almost anything.
· Everyone needs someone with whom to share their secrets.
· Listening is just as important as talking.
· An understanding friend is better than a therapist; and cheaper, too!
· Laughter makes the world a happier place.
· Friends are like wine; they get better with age.
· Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on.
· Great minds think alike, especially when they are female!
· When it comes to "bonding," females do it better.
· YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR SLUMBER PARTIES!!!!
· It's important to make time to do "girl things."
· Calories don't count when having lunch (or any other food) with your girlfriends.
· You can never have too many shoes or girlfriends.
· GEMS MAY BE PRECIOUS, BUT FRIENDSHIP IS PRICELESS!!!!!

100+ days to gain, and just one to lose

I often ask myself the question " how can i trust a person?, how many people in this world do i truly trust from the bottom of my heart?" I can only answer, not many.

Trust takes so much time to gain in a relationship.. so easy to lose, but how does one gain it back? Is it the issue of person A or person B? How do you let go of the barrier to trust ?
Even the smallest incidents will bring 101 questions to fly through my little brain - not a good thing.

Is it because mentally im scared to get hurt again, so i dont want to trust? Or is it because one incident of lost trust has thrown everything down the water. Or is it as one of my friends said, lack of self confidence? A mixture of all?

I can honestly say that there was one person in my life that I can no doubt say I trusted 110%. (This of course, is besides my family and my dearest best friend K). It took many ups and downs to build that trust and three and a half long years of friendship. Out of that friendship, I learnt that the more you trust a person, the more confident you are in what they say, but what if one day, they hurt you so much, that you can't trust that person again, or any other person for that matter?

What would you do then? ....

Show me the cheap skate

I went to dinner on Friday night with a friend at a Thai restaurant in Parramatta. It was on the street off church street, near the back carpark. It's a small tiny restuarant. There wasn't many people there, just 4 tables of 2 ppl.

You know the ladies that come around selling flowers? In 30 mins of us being there, 2 different ladies had come into the restaurant to sell flowers. This is a perfectly normal thing to happen. right? We have all experienced this some time or another.

One table of 2 - a guy & im guessing its his girlfriend complained. The tall blond long hair, checked shirt, scruffy look guy walked up to the tiny thai male owner (in his late 50's) and complained about the flower ladies. He shouted at the male owner and said "Why do you let these people come in? Do you recv some sort of commission? " He was whinging and complaining that it wrecked his dinner, wrecked his mood. He complained how dissappointed he was, and he was never going to come back to this thai rest. He goes on to complain how he was enjoying the dinner until the flower ladies had come in to sell flowers. Then he said " Im not paying for this sad meal. " The poor little thai boss didnt know what to say. he was in so much shock. The guy walked back to his girlfriend and said " This meal is now free!" ... what a d**khead! Throughout this time, this poor girl had her head down.. so embarressed, she didnt want to look at anyone ~

It suprises me that there is still people like that out there (im sure theres heaps more, but its definitely the first time i have seen something like that happen).. that does stupid things like this to score a free meal.

What could the boss do? call the police? over a probably $30 meal? He let them go... Everyone in the resturant was so understanding. The boss came around and apologised for the "scene". The guy walked out like he had just won the lotto.
Everyone else was just looking at each other.. thinking how stupid and slack is this guy....

So many weird crazy stupid people out there.. if u cant afford to go out and eat, eat at home~ felt so sorry for this girlfriend of his...

Another year older...

There's nothing better than having a nice family dinner, having a nice small cocktail party with my favourite girlfriends & poker night organised by my best friend K - offering her house for us to use for the night - with can's of lychee, vodka, malibu.. mhmhh....yum~Have u ever mixed rasberry cordial and thought it was cranberry juice? - undiluted in a cocktail? mmh....

Princess Hours

new addicted series..... sooo good =) highly recommended ~

having = not having

aii... makes me think.. then whats the point ??

Perfect ?

What consitutes to a perfect marriage? or a perfect relationship for that matter. Is there such word as perfect ?
I knew it didn't happen often but i thought from the bottom of my heart that one of my collegues had the perfect family. He was the typical "best" dad and typical "best" husband. someone that does everything and never complain. whether it be waking up in the middle of the night bcos the kids sick, or going home to cook dinner for her & doing household duties etc. we all heard her once say, "i wont be able to find anyone better than him." Even though he & her had complete opposite personalities, they both compromised. if you wanted a ideal example of "opposites attract" i'd tell you them. he accepted her and she accepted him. he sacraficed so much for her. they knew each other so well, and we all thought that they were the happiest family. 3 young kids. bbq's. family picnics. spending time with the kids making cakes together and sharing them with all of us here the next day. very happy. i met her at our conference and xmas party last year. we all bought presents for the kids. they were a beautiful couple. a beautiful & happy family. from the way they looked at each other, i could so remember how in love they looked. when they were eating. when they talked. when they danced. but the news was shared amongst us - they are spitting. shivers went down my spine. tears came up to my eyes. i felt goosebumps. nervous. sadness. emotions ~ not only me, but everyone in the office felt the same way. it feels gloomy, so quiet. no liveliness in the office today. its amazing how one collegues personal life could affect us all here, we're like a little family.
we were all supportive of him. he's voice trembled when he told us. he was close to tears. he said they both havent been happy in the last couple of yrs and have tried hard to make it work. they have been talking about seperating for the last 2 months. no one in the office noticed anything different about him. he worked the same. he was the same nice, friendly, helpful collegue as he use to. we could tell no emotion. ~ makes me think ~ sometimes what we see on the outside really may not be what happens behind closed doors ~

June... a time to remember..

June.. a time to remember that someone very special.. that someone that is always in my heart and never forgotten... always missed and always thought of. I wish that you were here by my side looking after & taking care of me... i miss you so much. Another year has gone by... u've never left that spot in my heart ~ happy birthday to you on 11.06.06~ and i'll be there to visit ~

External Beauty - Olive Oil ~

Recommended by my friend (pt) i've started to use Olive Oil as my night time moisturiser and eye gel ! Trust me.. it's good & it works!! It nourishes the skin & makes it really nice & soft !

Olive oil is very rich in Vitamin K (which is known to build collagen), Vitamin E (high in anti-oxidant), Vitamin A, and other vitamins. It also contains both types of polyunsaturated fat - Omega 3 and Omega 6 which is the right source of fatty acid for our body and skin. Since olive oil is close to our body natural oil, applying it on our skin won't clog pores, but letting it breath. Below are some expecting results from using olive oil on skin:

It is close to human body oil so it helps balance the oil produced on the skin (face). Dry skin will be moisturised. This is the same and will happen to oily skin. Dehydrating skin (i.e. not enough water, not oil) sends message to the brain to naturally produce more oil to the skin to make it 'moist', this is why some people have oily skin yet still dry. By applying olive oil the skin senses that it's needless to produce more oil which leads to a balance.

It doesn't clog pores as it is close to our body oil. In fact, it helps soften the pores and loosen out the dirt in the pores such as blackheads, whiteheads and milia under the eyes, which then leads to small pores.

Helps maintain skin flexibility (with collegen building), prevent/ reduce wrinkles and fades stretch marks (with anti-oxidant), and prolong aging of skin.

You can apply a thin layer every day and night evenly on the whole face, around eyes, lips and neck. In day time apply sunscreen on top. You can even add a couple of drops when you take a bath or apply it to your skin after a shower. It is the best to use extra virgin olive oil as it is non-processed and non-refined.

Compared with the prices of "cosmetic" products out there, a bottle of olive oil cost between $5 - $10 and can last a very long time !!

~~ thanks pt, i really like it ~ its good !!

...assignment time AGAIN...

Arrgg... its that time again.... assignment time!
Have been waiting for my notes to arrive, but just found out that i dont get any course notes for this subject! Apparently everything is online. Printed my assignment... aii... 30 PAGE PLAN!!! Was talking to my collegues and her limit was 60 pages! How can i do it in 30 pages ??

Thank God its my last subject! No exams!! Two assignments and a presentation..... Im sooooOOO happy! No more exams!!
No more ever.. unless I plan to do my CFP's... which im still "in thinking" and if i do it, it might not be till a couple of years anyways!! If i do it and get a pay rise.. i'll do it.. if not.. i'll defer ... heheee =P