Milo

I never knew drinking milk tea would have such an affect on Oscar.

There was 3 days in a row that I drank milk tea with my breakfast. Those few days was the worst days and nights because Oscar refused to sleep. He would be really tired & sleep in my arms but when I put him down, he would be really unsettled. I got cranky and upset with myself because at first I didn't know why he was behaving the way he did.

Yesterday the same thing happened. All day he refuse to sleep. His eyes were rolling and wide awake. Everytime I put him in his cot with his music, he would cry and cry... he was that that all last night as well.

As I held him tight in my arms last night trying to settle him, I thought, why is he behaving this way? Is it his stomach, did he do a poo? Wind? I thought of everything but I couldn't work it out. Then I realised, I had a big glass of Milo for breakfast. For those that know me, I don't put in teaspoons of Milo, I put in 5-6 tablespoons. I think this is what gave Oscar his energy boost, which caused me to have a sleepless night. I am so tired today. I only had 3 hrs of broken sleep last night.

Lesson learnt : No milo or caffinated drinks for the rest of my breastfeeding period.

Fear

Last night my wound started to bleed abit after having a shower. I rang up RPA and they asked me to go to emergency to have it checked out.

It's been a while since i've been to Emergency. Counting back, it's now 7 years.

The fears all came back and it felt like it only happened yesterday. I thought that I am alot stronger now but I still have that weak spot in my heart. As I walked into the emergency reception, my heart was beating.. I was staring at the ambulances, remembering that one night, 7 years ago when I was driving behind the ambulance. I felt like crying. I felt really sad. I felt so fragile and so weak, I just needed a great big hug to tell me everything is ok.

The hospital beds and seeing people with drips scare me. I don't dare to look at others. My eyes focused on myself, and the ground. I avoided eye contact with the other people.

I hope one day I can overcome this barrier.

Introducing my baby boy Oscar

My birthing experience

I gave birth to my precious baby boy on 24.8.10. The birth of my boy was not as I expected.

I had to say, for the duration of my pregnancy, I had it quite easy. I had no morning sickness, mushrooms was the only food I was put off by but after 1 month, I was happily eating it again. My belly was not huge so I was able to run around. I wasn't very tired, I had a great appetite, I worked as normal. The last month was abit tiring as my tummy got heavy, sleeping was abit more difficult and uncomfortable. My lower back started to ache, but that was about it.

At week 35, was when things started to get abit tough. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, meaning I had to make weekly visits to the hospital and get my fingers pricked (for the first time!! ).
At week 36, I was told I had a breech baby. My baby was heads up, bums down.
I was offered an ECV - this is where they put me on a Ventolin drip, monitor my blood pressure, have a heart machine and monitor on the baby and in case of fetal distress, an emergency cesearean would be needed. This is where the doctor manually tries to turn the baby by using his hands and forcing the baby to move. The success rate of this is 40% only. The Ventolin is used to relax my uterus so they put a cactus (a 1mm thick needle) into my arm. This needle is very very very painful and left a big bruise on my arm. Having a breech baby meant I cannot have a normal labour, I would have to have a cesearean.

I was devastated. Having a cesearean had never crossed my mind. I was always planning to have a natural birth. I never liked the after pain of the wound. I was really upset and depressed for a few days. I eventually, after many discussions with my husband, mum and BFF booked to do the ECV, where the doctor would manually turn the baby. I was super scared that it would hurt too much, but then I didn't want to have a cesearean. However, it was unsuccessful. Baby refused to turn, meaning that I had to book in for a cesearean.

At this time, when I had my blood pressure tested, it was very elevated. I was around 160/100. I've never had high blood pressure before either, which made everything more depressing.

All of a sudden, I had gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, plus a breech baby and will be having a cesearean.

I did a lot of research on all of the above and the more I read about it the more upset I got but after 2 weeks, at week 38, I accepted the fact I had to have a cesearean. I booked in to do the cesearean at the beginning of week 40, 30th August.

I had a blood pressure monitoring appointment on the 23rd. This is where I get admitted into day surgery and sit there for 4 hours and they monitor my blood pressure over 4 hours. My appointment was at 8am. That morning, I got into the shower & saw some bleeding. I was home alone. I rang the hospital immediately and because I wasn't having contractions, they just told me to go into the hospital. I asked the midwives if I can drive and they said I can.. so I finished my shower, grabbed my hospital bag (just in case) and drove to RPAH.

I got to the hospital and I was put onto a monitor to have my contractions monitored. I was 1cm dialated. I was told that I had to stay overnight to be monitored.

On the 24th, around 12noon, my water broke while the doctor came in to do their routine checkup. I was told I had to do an emergency cesearean straight away, so I was booked in for 1.30pm. I had to call Ray and my mum and they both rushed to the hospital. My baby was brought to this world at 2.35pm.

Following the birth, I had to stay in hospital for 5 days. Every morning I had to have blood tests, every 4 hours my blood pressure was to be checked. I was taking 20 - 25 tablets per day including painkillers for the pain from the wound. Not to mention, each morning my fingers were getting pricked. I had the dietician come in to talk about the diet for having diabetes, a special doctor (I can't remember the name now) for my high blood pressure and the midwives. It was very exhausting and very depressing. At the same time, the painkillers was making me very drowsy, so when I was feeding, I was seeing multiple babies. After a while, they reduced my dosage, making me feel the pain more.

During the 5 days I was in the hospital, I had 2 good midwives and 2 very bad ones. Ones that are rude and rough with my baby. Others were really helpful and offered assistance to more than they should have. One offered to look after my baby for 3 hours while I take a nap. Others just pick up my baby like it was a doll, and dropped him back into the basket without holding his head, and some just simply had really bad attitude. I was dying to go home!!

Anyways, before this birth experience, I wanted to have 2 children. Now after this, I don't want another child. It's staring at my baby's peaceful look when he is sleeping that has kept me going. Holding, hugging and kissing him. I hope one day soon I will change my mind because I really want to have 2.

Creation of Love

Since being pregnant, I haven't been able to express how I felt having a baby inside me. I know it is a baby created by Ray and myself.

It's a pity that only us females get to experience this feeling and not the males. I think their feeling of the creation is very different to what we feel.

I was watching a TVB drama and a lady that was quite maturely aged fell pregnant. She described her falling pregnant as the creation of their love for one another. When I heard that, I realised it very well sums up how I have been feeling and how I feel with the new addition to our lives.

Not long to go, 3 weeks left and and our creation will see this beautiful world :)

1 week of work left

This is my final week of work before I start my maternity leave. It still hasn't quite hit me that I will be taking 12 months off. 12 months off work seems so long, I wonder if I will get bored.

I feel very tired and exhausted from work. I really want to have a break but then is this really a break? I have a feeling that i'll be more tired looking after a baby than being at work!!

Ray and I have finished our antenatal classes. The classes were very good. It's given me reassurance and a better understanding of everything. The good thing is, it's also prepared Ray for the birth of our child too and how he can help me :P

This week at work, i'll be doing nothing but sitting around, emailing and surfing the internet. Pretty boring :(

Steak Pie

I get abit lost sometimes when I need to think of what to cook for dinner. Thank you Alice for giving me these lovely ideas :)

Steak pie with carrots & mushrooms with mash :)

Dinner for one

Ray's last day at work today so he's gone out to have dinner & drinks with his collegues.

I decided to have a light and healthy meal tonight so I made a salad :)

Mixed leaves with avocado, tomato, beetroot, parmesan & balsamic vinegar.

Penelope & Madeline Wong

Latest update of Penny & Maddy :D

Ray's Birthday

It's hubby's birthday today and originally I suggested to take him out to a nice dinner, but being the family man that he is, he preferred to have a quiet dinner at home with me so we decided to buy some high quality grade Wagyu to have at home :)

We figured that the best way to have a Wagyu was not in steak form, but to cut them into little bite sized pieces, fry them quickly in the pan on both sides and dipped in soy sauce so is tender and juicy. It's soooo yummm :)

The Ring

A recent conversation I had with a male friend was quite interesting. Well, I thought it was quite interesting.

He is currently living with his girlfriend of 4 years. They bought a house together and have been living there for about 1 year now. Since they bought the house, they have joint accounts. Both their income goes into the offset account and they just use money from the one account. It seems like these days that's the best way to save money and reduce the amount of interest you pay on your home loan. They both don't have any "secret" money of their own.

He is planning to propose to her in December this year. He is saving money to buy her ring. Now, here's the key part, he plans to use "their" savings from "their" offset account to buy the ring. Does that sound unfair or is that the norm nowadays? When he mentioned he was saving up for the ring, and a bell started ringing in my head.. huh? that sounds weird. I don't think I would like my boyfriend to propose to me with a ring bought with "our" money. Call me old fashion, but it just doesn't sound right.

So if that's the case, here's the next question, is it really simply better get engaged before you commit to buying a house with your partner? Obviously all the savings would go towards the deposit of the home. Would you point out to him to leave some savings for the ring?? But what if that 20% deposit you needed was everything you had? What would you do? What do people do? Or by that time, the ring doesn't matter that much anymore?

I'm truely old fashion. My boyfriend needs to buy me to ring, needs a romantic/sweet or at least "a thought put into" the proposal process and of course, last but not least, a bunch of roses. I think that is the way it should be. :)

Noodles with a smile

Tonight I made instant noodles with a smile for my hubby.

He's been working very hard lately and has been quite stressed, so I thought i'd make him smile by putting something different in his instant noodles hehehe :)

Failed attempt 1: Earl grey tea chiffon cake

I've finally gotten back into baking. I made a little change to Poh's Recipe for her Orange Chiffon Cake and used Earl Grey tea as substitute. I LOVE Pandan Chiffon cakes that you can get at Asian grocery stores so after seeing a friend make it with Earl Grey tea and saying it's very yummy, I decided to try making it myself. It gives a very nice tea aroma, but I think I could of made the tea abit more condensed. Will try that next time.

Unfortunately, my cake deflated :( - BUT even though it deflated, it's still very tasty and very yummy. I made my cake around 4pm and its 11.30pm now and there's only a 1/4 left!

Masterchef Dinner

Mike had a day off yesterday so he decided to cook up a 3 course meal - of course, being influenced my Masterchef Australia. After knowing his menu for the night, Ray and I volunteered ourselves to join the dinner :P
Since, I had already planned to make a risotto for dinner, I brought the ingredients along to my mums place and made it over there. It was a really really nice dinner :)

Entree: Avocado, Cherry Tomato and Red Onion with parsley and spinach puree bruschetta.

Main 1: My own mushroom and spinach risotto

Main 2: Roast lamb with Mint Pea Puree, Mash and Salad

Dessert: Peaches and Vanilla Icecream Mille Feuille

Malaysian Bee Hive Cake

I tried this cake when I was in Taiwan and I LOVED it!! It's a brown sugar version of our chinese "bart tong go". I found this recipe and it's a "must try"!!
The cake turned out very nice. I thought it would be abit thicker, but it's quite thin.
I think next time I make this cake, i'll try using honey and rock sugar. The flavour would be stronger than using brown sugar. mmh... I'm back into my baking mood.. la la laaala...

Siw bak at his 2nd home for the first time!!

On the weekend, we brought Siw bak over to Rays place for the first time. We want to try to bring him over on Friday afternoon so that he can stay with us for Saturday and Sunday and we'll bring him back to my mum's place on Sunday afternoon. That way, we can take him easily for a walk at the Olympic Park and I can spend more time with him.

Unfortunately, we haven't had very good weather on the weekends and sometimes we have plans for both Sat and Sun, so we don't want to bring him over and leave him at home alone because I don't know if he'll bark, wee and poo and I don't want to put him just outside on the balcony.

So this is the first time we brought him over. He was such a good boy and I was so happy. He stood and stared at the front door when he needed to go to the toilet (and he did it a few times!!) so we just put his leash back on and take him outside. That was one thing I was very worried about, that he wouldn't know where the front door is in the new environment. It's very different having a dog in a unit compared to a house.

I've never had a dog in a unit before because i've always felt it was slack to have a dog in such a small space (as well as i've never lived in a unit here in Sydney) - hence, we're only bringing him over during the weekends when we know we will be at home.

We took him for a tour around the house and upstairs into our bedroom. We brought his mat over so he was quite comfortable, however, he found Rays carpet more comfy so he marked his spot on Rays green carpet. He was so cute!! We spent the day watching DVDs and hugging Siw bak. It was soooo nice.

The bad thing is that when people walk down the hallway outside, Siw bak will start to bark. I'm abit worried because i'm not sure this is a pet friendly block of units, even though i've seen people bring dogs in and out of the building. I'll have to slowly train Siw bak to not bark.

I can't wait till I start my maternity leave! I can bring Siw bak over & we can go for walks together :)

Counting down

Less than 3 months to go now till i'm due, till there's a new addition in our family. It's a very exciting time for us, yet, last night I got scared.

Scared because I am not sure how I'm going to be as a mother.
Scared because I don't know if i can cope.
Scared because I want to give my child the best and teach it the best.
Scared because I can feel my patience level deteriorating.
Scared just because i'm scared.

Deep inside, I know that I'll be ok. I'll have the help of my hubby and my mum but it's the next stage of our lives we are about to step into.

I hope things will be ok.

Parmesan baked fish

My first time in making baked fish with bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. Suprisingly yummy :)

A great change

It's been a while since we've been talking about opening our own business. We've gone to look at businesses for sale, taken their business plan, read it and put it aside. So it's always been a "look" & "talk" approach. It's been like that for the last few years.

We've finally taken the big step and put a deposit on a Cafe in North Sydney. It's a big change for my family as it's changed some of our plans which included buying a house. Our house will now need to wait for a little while :)

I can't believe i'm going to be a mum and a business owner at the same time. It's very very exciting!!

@ 22 weeks

For my friends that have been asking for a photo of what I look like at 22 weeks, here you go :)